Tag: Mother’s Day

A Mother’s Day Reflection

By Felisa Strickland, Parent Advocate, and Board Member, The Arc of California

Before I became a mother, this day was just a day in May that I bought my mom a Hallmark card and said, “Thank you for being a great Mom!” (Something, I admit that I didn’t always do enough, and certainly not always with the appreciation deserved.) And then I became a mother to my precious Lily Marie! An unexpected joy that I had been told would never happen for me, yet it DID! There are not enough words to describe how blessed and grateful I am. The first year of Lily’s life on Mother’s Day I remember sending cards to every Mother I knew to honor this incredible journey that I had been gifted. I recognized right away all that goes into motherhood, and I felt so honored to be a part of the awesome experience.

By the next year I was becoming painfully aware that my experience was going to be different than what I had planned or imagined it would be. But that didn’t stop me from honoring all the Mothers I knew. I wanted them to know how much I appreciated them and our shared experience. A few years in and I was busy navigating diagnosis’, therapies, doctors’ appointments, IEP’s, not to mention leaving a career behind to be the best mama caregiver that I could be. As a result, I fell short on sending cards and expressing my appreciation for my fellow mama’s but have always remained grateful to be a part of the motherhood.

Fast forward to today and I can’t help but reflect on the last 23 years of being a part of the disability mom’s club. This journey has taken me on lots of twists and turns, as I suppose all mothers experience in one way or another. Disabled or not, our children teach us so much if we are willing to follow their lead. And, as a mother to a disabled child, I can say that the highs are the highest and the lows are the lowest. While I wouldn’t change a thing about Lily, or our loving relationship for one another as mother and daughter, I would certainly change the systems in place that create barriers for mothers like me and our children. Many mothers like me care for their children 24/7 (literally) with no end in sight. It’s less than ideal for the moms or their adult children, yet we carry on because that is what we do! Another thing we do is we stick together, even in the isolation of caregiving, moms join forces, they make space for each other, especially disability moms. We collectively know what needs to happen for our kids to lead a productive sustainable life, so we get together, we get busy, and we advocate, we support and encourage each other to keep up the good fight! And right now, we are in the fight of our lives! Hang on mamas it’s going to be a bumpy ride AND we need all your voices!

This Mother’s Day I want to thank all the mothers that came before me parenting disabled children; that forged paths for those of us still trudging them. Let us be grateful for their work born from love for their children and ours. I may not have always been able to keep up with sending the Mother’s Day cards but the relationships with the mothers (mine included) I have met along the way have filled my heart in ways I never knew possible and will always be treasured. They have taught me that together we are stronger and that even in the challenges there is joy, love, and hope.

Happy Mother’s Day!

A Special Mother’s Day Message

By Pat Hornbecker, Board President, The Arc of California

Through the eyes of many generations, I see motherhood grow and change. I was fortunate enough to have my grandmothers in my life into my 30’s and my mother into my 60’s. And so, my three daughters and son Joseph were able to witness these all important and influential relationships. And the mother’s before me were also able to watch me move into motherhood with the exceptional experience of parenting a child with severe disabilities. He taught us all well! Now my daughters have kids of their own. I sit in the middle of this generational swing, observing the differences and similarities but most of all seeing the love that remains constant for all generations.

The expectations of mothers are different. We now can choose to become mothers, unless that right is taken away. We can expect acceptance for our choices without reprisal or shame. We can expect to have a career and motherhood run simultaneously with success. We can also choose to stay home to raise our children and expect respect. My grandmothers knew none of these choices and my mother only dreamed of the career she sacrificed as I came into her life as her firstborn child.

I see the mothers around me who have children like my Joseph, with great needs and gifts, and know that this experience binds us together. We support one another better now than ever before. We are building the infrastructure necessary to support our children and their siblings and communities. We have learned from our grandmothers and mothers that we are change-agents and the resource from which the future grows.

Mom, thanks for your strength and determination. Grandmas “Totsie” and “Nana” thanks for your lessons about family. Thank you to all the mothers who have taught me so much and given me strength every day.  Happy Mother’s Day 2023!

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