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By Pat Hornbecker, President, The Arc of California Board of Directors
Grandmother is a label I have come to cherish because of the children—some now adults—and their parents, who have included me in their families’ lives so intimately and with such love that I feel I truly belong. It was never a deliberate aspiration to become a grandmother; those decisions were not entirely up to me. I travel through numerous “grandma” names, as many grandmothers do. There is always a story behind how these names came to be, each reflecting the loving relationships, cultures, and styles of our family. My favorite name is “Mom-Mom” because I am mom’s mom! The journey has been nothing but joyous.
Mother was a title I did aspire to, though I had no idea of the challenges or rewards that lay ahead. Motherhood was also somewhat of a family expectation—to grow up, marry, and have children— in that order, of course. Those were the days when a woman’s life was guided by many rules and restrictions—regarding her livelihood, career potential, partnerships, affiliations, and aspirations. I watched the birth of the “women’s liberation movement,” which gave rise to freedoms never spoken of before. We began questioning the status quo and reaching for goals previously reserved for men. This movement brought us hope and infused a sense of creativity and adventurousness many of us had never felt before.
Of course, many other revolutions were happening at that time. We challenged the rigid rules of the past and asserted new ideas and theories about how the world could be. I watched in awe as the civil rights movement grew stronger, giving voice to those who had been ignored or worse. I witnessed the passage of laws ensuring equal access for people with disabilities. I felt the sincere passion of families pleading for their children with disabilities to be included and educated alongside their siblings and peers. We were testing all barriers to freedom while still striving to fulfill our dreams. I recognized this as a momentous period of growth, change, and opportunity for all who dared to reach out and take up a cause.
Fast forward to today—a time and place where the current status quo provides so much. The disability community now has access to civil rights, education, healthcare, social security, affordable housing, and networks of support organizations and services. And there are always families steadfast in their love and commitment. Yet, these hard-fought rights—the freedom to live the lives of our choosing, and our children’s—are now threatened. We are being called upon to stand tall against indifference and attack from others. We are being tested like never before to defend our lives and our community. Because, as we all know, at any moment, any of us could join this community. I am confident my sisters will “RISE UP” and fight to protect our families.
And so, I say THANK YOU to the women who came before me. Thank you for allowing me to take up the banner of motherhood at my own pace, following my instincts without judgment. I am grateful for the choices I have been given. I am blessed with four children who have taught me more than all my years of schooling. My son Joseph’s disability has been both a challenge and an inspiration for everything I do. I also thank the mothers of today, who energize me with their spirit of unwavering determination. Thanks to the mothers I have met over the years—those who keep me grounded, nurture me, and guide me through dark moments and scary days. I am never alone, for I have found my community—one that protects, represents, and holds me dear forevermore.
Happy Mother’s Day!
