Helpful Hints for the Holidays…. A Collection from Families

A beautifully decorated and clean house, the perfect holiday background music, the table is set with all the matching holiday dishes, the entire family comes dress in beautiful clothes for dinner, not a terse word is even uttered by anyone, dinner of course is delicious, warm and perfect… If that is what you are hoping for the closest you might get is turning on the television and watching a Hallmark movie! For some families the real hope or expectation for the “perfect” holiday is simply just getting through the holidays with minimal melt downs and having a well-rehearsed and very strategic family exit plan in the event one is needed. We all know the holidays can be a stressful time but for families who have loved ones that are sensitive to lights, smells, noise, people and change; the holidays can be an exceptionally stressful time. Over the years parents and families have written articles, shared experiences and posted helpful hints for getting through, and perhaps even enjoying, the holidays when your loved one has various sensitivities. Below are some of the helpful hints that have been shared over the years.

• It goes without saying that changes in routines or visitors coming to the house unexpectedly can be very disruptive so, if possible, discuss any routine changes well before the change is made and ask family or friends to let you know when they plan to stop by.
• A special signal can be very helpful and create confidence in your loved one that if they are feeling overwhelmed and need some personal space they can give you (and hopefully a few others in case you are occupied) a special signal and they will be assisted in finding a quiet space.
• Sensitivity supports are a must– ear plugs, headphones, sunglasses, comfortable clothes, fragrance free home, or anything else your loved one relies on to manage a variety of sensitivities – and should be available at all times, especially during gatherings.
• Bring a preferred snack and some water (or juice) when you are out or visiting family or friends because hunger and being offered unfamiliar food can trigger a melt-down.
• If your loved one is easily overstimulated or has certain sensitivities create a space that does not have decorations and ask family members or friends to do the same if you plan on going to their house over the holidays.
• Adapt gift wrapping accordingly. For example, if you are giving someone a gift and they have fine motor skill challenges give them the gift in a bag rather than a neatly wrapped and taped box because it can be very frustrating to try to open a wrapped gift.*
• Slow down and don’t push your luck! Listen to what your loved one says (verbally or through behavior) and ask everyone to do the same.

Many families have their “Holiday Plan” and are keenly aware of the need to adapt and adjust plans. One of the best pieces of advice I have heard over the years is to share your plan with the extended family and friends that you are going to be spending time with over the holidays. If everyone knows the plan, then what might seem like an abrupt and concerning departure from the dinner table followed by pacing in the backyard with headphones and no jacket for 20 minutes in the pouring rain simply becomes no big deal. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and that your plans are successful.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

*When Teresa shared this post with me I was overcome with the hilarious memory of the year that my non-disabled older brother got super mad that I had more gifts than him because I was unwrapping hours after he had ferociously shredded the paper from his last Space Lego. Of course I didn’t have more gifts, just a disability that meant I took a civilized amount of time unwrapping. The next year – and every year after that until we were well into adulthood – my parents and Santa wrapped all of my brother’s gifts with multiple layers of wrapping paper, duct tape, thick plastic, and one year a wooden crate that was securely screwed together. After that it took the two of us an equal amount of time to work our way through Christmas morning.
-Christian McMahon