Heartfelt Reflections from Just Two Dads

By Shawn Francis and Brian Altounian, Hosts of Just Two Dads Podcast

This Father’s Day, we’re honoring the love, strength, and wisdom of dads raising children with disabilities. We invited Just Two Dads podcast hosts, Shawn Francis and Brian Altounian—fathers, advocates, and longtime friends—to share their personal journeys in fatherhood. In this honest Q&A, they reflect on the beauty and heartbreak, the daily lessons, and the deep transformation that comes with parenting a special child. Their words are not only a tribute to the resilience of families like theirs, but a reminder that empathy, community, and purpose can carry us all forward—especially in times of uncertainty.

Q&A with Shawn Francis

How has being a father to a child with disabilities shaped your identity—not just as a parent, but as a man, partner, and advocate?:

SHAWN: It has increased significantly, my effort to be a better person all around. To be more patient, to be more empathetic with others of course, but especially with myself. Some days I regress, but each day I try and it has increased my authenticity as well.

Can you share one moment or lesson from your journey as a dad that reflects the unique beauty of parenting a child with disabilities?

SHAWN: My 19-year-old son Elijah who has autism, is going through a phase where he collects brochures of every kind as well as shopping bags. We will enter a store with an agreement that he is not to get any more brochures, but he will at times defy me and politely ask employees for them. On one hand, he’s defying me, on the other hand, he’s advocating for himself and communicating effectively. At first, I was angry and frustrated, but I have compromised. We agree to enter a store, but if he’s going to ask, we’ll discuss it prior. This way, I’m not blindsided and he, in turn, not only advocates for himself but is more willing to keep his end of the bargain.

What is one of the hardest parts of fatherhood in your experience—and how have you grown because of it?

SHAWN: I don’t know if it’s one of the hardest parts but one of many revelations I’ve had about fatherhood is the fact that the idea we may have had that our parents had it all figured out when we were kids is a fallacy. They simply did the best they could. For me, that translates to how much we overestimate the notion of having all the answers before we do anything. Perfection is not part of the human experience.

The two of you created Just Two Dads to open up conversations that aren’t always had. What has surprised you most about the response from other dads and caregivers?

SHAWN: The fact that most of our interaction comes from women is not only the most surprising thing but also serves to highlight the need for what we do. We are working against the norms of society in that men are encouraged to “just do” or “soldier through”. We are so averse to vulnerability when in fact vulnerability is not only a strength when properly allowed, but has the capacity to unite us, because we can at times see ourselves in the vulnerable.

Right now, we’re seeing state and federal threats to funding for disability services. Why is it so important that families stay informed, and what advice would you give to other parents who may feel overwhelmed or unsure of how to advocate?

SHAWN: These conversations can be as difficult to have as they are necessary. They are both. There’s a thin line between being informed and choosing a diet of doom. There’s also a thin line between being positive and optimistic and sticking one’s head in the sand. Misinformation divides us. With that said, we’ve heard of intentions by the current Administration and the President to take away or drastically cut benefits that serve underserved communities, including but not limited to disability community. That should not be ignored. Apathy has its price and it is very expensive.

As fathers, how do you balance the personal and the political—raising a family while also raising your voices?

SHAWN: It can be tricky. Because we all share so much as caregivers and parents. The first time a fellow parent not only disagrees with your view, but does so with what feels like venom, it can be jarring. Most people are at their core, caring and empathetic. But people can also be judgmental, unkind, and even nasty. Any underserved community is one that needs empathy. It helps to be certain about who you are as a person. It also helps to remember that empathy in its truest form is WORK, but worthy.

What do you hope people feel or do after reading your story? How can they stand with other families right now?

SHAWN: I hope that people take from my story that there is value in their own story, that they may see at least some of themselves in me. I think some people who are not yet affected by any of the things we’ve talked about might wonder why they need to stand with anyone or “what does this have to do with me”? Muhammad Ali said “Service to others is the rent we pay for our room on earth.” Everything that affects one person directly will eventually, at least indirectly, affect others. If you’re not a member of the disability community now, the likelihood of disability touching your life at some point is very high. Whether it’s a loved one, an illness or injury, or your own old age. The best way to stand with other families or with anyone for that matter, is to NEVER tire of curiosity. Ask more questions and make fewer statements. Open your eyes, and more importantly, your heart, and the answer will come to you as to how you can stand with us. Plus, it never hurts to ask “How can I help”?

Q&A with Brian Altounian

How has being a father to a child with disabilities shaped your identity—not just as a parent, but as a man, partner, and advocate?

BRIAN: I remember when my oldest daughter Jordan was diagnosed with developmental delays, it came as a surprise and a shock as I hadn’t noticed any issues. I realized that up until that point, I wasn’t really PRESENT with my parenting or being a partner. I was there, but not really paying attention. Being a father to a special needs child helped me be focused, present, and aware of my family. It also made me more empathetic to others.