Celebrating the Love and Strength of Family Caregivers

By Felisa Strickland, Parent-Educator for Caring Futures, The Arc of California Board Member, and caregiver to daughter Lily

November is National Family Caregivers Month — a time to honor the millions of parents, family members, and friends who provide care and support to loved ones with disabilities, chronic illnesses, or age-related needs. It’s also a time to reflect on the shared strength, resilience, and love that bind caregiving families together.

Twenty-five years ago, when I became a mother to my daughter Lily, I did not know that my title of “Mom” would also be shared with that of “caregiver.” In fact, it took many years for me to see that as an accurate description of the love and care I provide for Lily. But like so many of you, I have been doing it for a long time, and it has changed over the years, from the basic care you provide your children as they grow up, to a lifetime of support.

I have developed into my role and learned to navigate the twists and turns that come with day-to-day care. I am proud to be my daughter’s caregiving mother. I am grateful for the relationship I have with her, and the joy of caring for her has enhanced my life. We are best friends, and like most best friends, we have our ups and downs, good days and bad days.

Sometimes being her caregiver is very hard work. It carries a ton of responsibility, uncertainty, worry, and fear that multiplies repeatedly as a parent. As the years go by, I have learned that I can’t do it alone. I am grateful to the parents who came before me, showed me the ropes and offered guidance and support. I am also getting tired and wonder about our future — Lily’s, and mine.

Two years ago, I got involved with The Arc of California’s Caring Futures program, a community for parents and caregivers who support a family member with disabilities. The program, which is still going strong, offers future planning classes, self-care classes, a webinar series, a resource library, and a private Facebook community. It has been an honor to be a part of it all since the beginning. We are celebrating the program’s two-year anniversary this month — during National Family Caregivers Month — and we are celebrating with YOU!

As parents and caregivers of someone with disabilities, we know there are many rewards to the love and care you provide. But we also know that it isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t always come with recognition or the supports and services we really need. That’s where Caring Futures comes in… we see you! We want you to know you are not alone. There is a community here for you, and we recognize all you do for your child, family, and community. We are so glad you are part of the Caring Futures family.

We hope you will make a special point to celebrate yourselves this month for all you do, and for the abundance of love you provide to others. This month is a reminder to pause and recognize all the other caregivers in our lives who have helped us along the way to be the best we can be, and to remember that our best is good enough. It truly does take a village, and we are so happy you are part of ours.

Thanksgiving Day Wishes

By Felisa Strickland, Board Member, The Arc of California

“What are you thankful for this year?” Have you ever been asked or thought about it and struggled with your answer? I mean, there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for, right? So, “what AM I thankful for this year?”

Many years ago, my daughter Lily was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and autism. I was digesting and adjusting to all that goes with parenting a child with disabilities, accessing services and supports and trying to find a place where we fit in. Our schools and some of our friends and family just didn’t quite get all that went into our new life with disabilities. When Lily’s father passed away, his loss left a huge hole filled with grief. Some days, it was hard to move.

I can remember times where I couldn’t think of how to answer the question, “What am I thankful for this year.” Of course there are the obvious things like waking up, having food to eat, a roof over our head, etc. … but sometimes the weight of what you’re carrying in your life can cloud your perspective and make it hard for you to see what’s right in front of you. I suppose what we are thankful for will depend on our perspective in the moment that we are asked that question.

This year I have had the unique opportunity to be a part of Caring Futures, a wonderful program created by The Arc of California. It is shining a light into the lives of parents and caregivers, providing them with resources, future planning and self-care classes and a supportive community. Teaching these classes has allowed me to meet and share experiences with so many amazing people. We all have different experiences and circumstances, but one thing in common — the need for each other. We need to connect with others going through something similar. We need to learn from each other and share our journeys in the comfort of community. It has been a remarkable first year of Caring Futures. I am grateful to be a part of such an amazing community!

All these years later and I am still digesting, transitioning and navigating the world of disability, advocating and fighting for services and supports, and most definitely still grieving the loss of Lily’s father. However, I now do it with a different perspective. I am not isolated or feeling alone, but instead I feel lifted and empowered to lift others through the comfort and strength of community. YOU are part of this community, and I am thankful you are here. Together we are stronger, and we are not alone. For that, I AM THANKFUL!

I hope this holiday season gives you many moments to be thankful for, and the opportunities to share them with those you love and care for.

Wishing you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving,

Felisa Strickland

Parent-Educator, Board Member and Proud Parent Advocate